How to deal with agents of chaos
Recently I have learned about the magic of saying no. Particularly saying no to the agents of chaos in life.
A friend explained to me the other day that when you feel anger in a situation with someone, it can be an indicator of a violated boundary. Someone crossed the line.
To this I now say no. Simply no. When an agent of chaos is trying to run me around, I'm putting that right into the "will not accept category.” I love this method, it’s so incredibly empowering. Give it a try. Download my free worksheet or write out a list of what you will accept in life and what you will not accept. The universe loves a decided mind. It's how you direct the forces of your life to respond to you. When you make your lists, be really specific. For example: I WILL accept loving, kind and respectful relationships in my world. I WILL NOT accept manipulation, unkindness, or any form of abuse in my life.
Making these clear, definitive statements not only helps you to deal with that emotion of immediate anger, but it also helps you to set in place new standards for the future. It helps you to step out of the place of victimhood, and right into a position of owning your own life.
When you say no, I will not accept a certain behavior, it doesn’t mean that you run around telling everyone that they are doing things wrong. It doesn’t mean that you attack people when they have stepped over the line, because chances are, when someone steps across your boundary, most times they don’t even realize what they have done. What saying no means is an internal process of sorting out what works and what does not work for you. It is a non-aggressive, yet firm way of demonstrating the terms of how you interact with people. It gives you permission to walk away from damaging situations. It also gives you permission to say, “I’m not comfortable with this conversation/scenario” and opting out.
My best friend and I are constantly giving each other permission to express what we really feel and make the choices that our heart’s are guiding us towards. It’s funny how powerful it is to give yourself permission to do what you really want to do! So, just as my friend does for me, I will do this for you! I hereby give you permission to say what you will not accept in your life. I also give you permission to write it out and live it. You do not have to allow people to violate your boundaries. You have every right to opt out of relationships and situations that you do not accept in your life.
Doing this work will truly start to change your life. You get to choose how you feel about your life and how you interact with others. As you practice setting in place your boundaries, you will start to notice how people pick up on it, sometimes even unconsciously. And admittedly, if you haven’t ever enforced personal boundaries, you will feel like an awkward teenager as you start to practice. It’s shaky. Your voice might waver, and you might doubt yourself. Am I allowed to say no? Yes. Definitively yes, because you are an Impactful Person! If you are reading this, you are there. You are on your way to aligning with your purpose and you don’t get run around by life. You choose the life you want.