My dear friends,
This week I’ve experienced the magical process of letting go, ironically from the very exercise that I taught in my course that launched this week! (Here is a link if you want to check out the course.) After all the busyness of getting the program going, some calm returned to my life. I felt this tugging at my heartstrings to work on my own personal healing process and spend some more time digging into the deep pain associated with being disowned by my mother because of religious differences. I also allowed myself to finally deal with my big breakup from months and months ago. I have been handling so many big issues lately that I had really tabled these deeper emotions and waited for a time when I could deal with them. Once my program had launched, something inside me said, “Lindsay, it’s time now. Slow down and deal with this.”
I have to admit, even though I have been a healer for years now and understand the process, I was still afraid to face those emotions. I felt terrified of what I would discover if I let myself really go into the emotions that I had buried so deep. I just wished that I could ignore it all and time would wash it away, but my heart said otherwise. The thing about healing is that it truly takes time and patience. You cannot rush it, and you cannot force the process. Yet, there is both the need for stubborn courage to face the challenge. There is also the simultaneously need for surrender. The courage is useful to get you started and keep you going, yet the surrender is so necessary for really shifting out of a place of woundedness.
I had to really harness my courage to get me started in the process of “letting go” of all the pain associated with these relationships because I know that by letting go, I have less pain in my life and more freedom to enjoy the goodness life has to offer. The stubbornness and desire for healing got me started, but the surrender part was a little harder for me this round. I feel like it was harder because I’ve felt so angry at both my ex-boyfriend and my ex-mother for everything that happened. Letting go of all that felt like such an overwhelming task that I hadn’t really allowed myself to process it until now.
I decided to do my exercise from the course where I taught how to write out a letter to the person or situation you have conflict with. The intention is to allow yourself to fully express every emotion, thought and feeling that has been hiding in your consciousness. Just let it all out on paper. Take the time to really identify what it was that was so hurtful and really articulate it all for yourself. You don’t send the letter to the person - that is critical! This forgiveness process is for YOU. It allows you to process the situation and let go of any attachments, blame, anger and toxicity surrounding the situation. I have done this process regarding my mother years ago, but this time I had to take it to a deeper level.
I was so damn scared to write that letter out.
I avoided it for a full week after I decided to do the exercise. I was afraid of dipping into those deep emotions of sadness, betrayal, and anger. I really had to harness all of my courage and stubbornness to do it! I finally sat down one day and wrote out my letter. I found it interesting that what emerged from me was all the things that I had wanted to say to those people but never had articulated. Frankly, these were things I really needed to admit to myself more than anything. I let myself write and write, and cry, and write some more. It was a really difficult process. But I stuck with it.
I wrote out 2 letters, one for each person. Then I went outside one evening and did a little “letting go” ceremony. I stood under the light of the moon and said to the universe, “I’m ready to let go of everything written in these letters. I have said my piece and now I’m ready for new, beautiful experiences. I am done with all of this.”
Then I burned the letters.
I watched the fire travel from the corner up around the edges and then through the center of the paper. I watched the words shift into black nothingness and crumble and fall away. It was a strange sensation to take all of those emotions and just burn them away. After the letter was consumed by the fire, I sat on the grass for a bit and cried in the dark of the night. I eventually pulled myself up to my feet and went inside and crawled into bed, a big soggy mess of tears.
The next morning I woke up feeling distinctly different. I felt a bit tired, but I also felt relieved. I felt like the hot burn of poison had been pulled right out of my body. The angry heat of emotions was no longer there, there was a calm stillness in the place where those emotions used to live. I had given them voice and had allowed them to leave and transform. I felt more space inside me. I felt free.
Since doing this exercise, I’ve noticed that I feel more peaceful, calm and harmonious. I've dealt with this layer, and I'm sure that there are more to come. Yet, this process was a powerful reminder in my own life that this stuff works my friends. If you have a situation in your life that is really causing you anxiety and pain, I encourage you to give this method a try. Write out your letter and burn it. Be clear with your intentions and what you seek to achieve. Be willing to let go of all the anger and pain, because it does set YOU free.
My friends, this healing work is truly magical. Once you start to really experience these changes in yourself, you will be so inspired and excited by the feeling of transformation. If you want to take this process even deeper, check out my free training HERE.
I’m sending you all much love, peace and happiness!!